Transformational Moments
Focusing on the 'way through' during a recent camping trip
How Leaning Into Your Values as a Leader Allows You to Turn Difficult Situations Into Transformational Moments
When he was young, my son had a way of framing the whole day based on one fleeting, but seemingly significant, situation. It was that blanket statement, “This is a horrible day!”, when something undesirable happened, even if it was just a blip on the radar.
As leaders we have things coming at us all through the day. Each of these ‘things’ might be seen as a ‘moment’. A moment in time that can be a powerful force in framing the way we define our leadership, especially when compiled with many of these moments throughout our lives.
I have been reflecting on a few recent team facilitations and coaching interactions that distinctively demonstrate how leaders can turn a ‘bad’ situation into a transformational moment for themselves and their teams.
Midway through a Board Retreat, dynamics got quite heated with strong differences of opinion that had been stifling the team for quite some time. I held the space for the difficult conversation to take place that eventually revealed the underlying conflict. By the end of the day, each Board member voiced their commitment to the team and enjoyed each other’s company for a drink at the bar with a new appreciation for the currents that had been lurking beneath the surface. What they do with that moment from here will determine where they go next.
At a two-day Global Summit, an incident occurred that could have shattered the very foundation of the team and organization. The way in which the leader handled the situation head-on and communicated with the team, showing his conviction and compassion, turned that otherwise disastrous event into a transformational moment for the team. At the end of the two days together, he asked a telling question, “How many of you have met a friend over the past 2 days?” Everyone raised their hand. My observation of the team, and how they all came together around the experience, confirmed this to be true.
A number of my coaching clients seem to be faced with conflict in the workplace lately. How they are facing those conflicts and finding solutions to working more effectively together is not only healing their relationships with their team members, but improving operations across their organizations.
A Visit with My Son
As I sit in the airport returning from a visit with my 21-year-old son; that one who used to let one thing that didn’t go his way ruin his entire day, I reflect on our time together. He is now a US Marine, based on Camp Pendleton, just north of San Diego. His ability to address unexpected challenges and move forward is impressive.
Difficult Situations
We went camping in his 1969 VW Bus for the long Easter weekend and of course we had our trials.
He didn’t get Friday off as expected and to make matters even worse, he didn’t even get off early as anticipated, leaving me to camp on my own Thursday night and fend for myself on Friday.
We got busted camping in a restricted area halfway to our destination and had to ‘move along’ in the middle of the night.
We set up our kitchen only to realize we had no pots to cook in, so invented the ‘zen of cooking in a metal coffee cup’ technique. picture
He received a last-minute communication saying that he had to check in in person at 7am on Monday morning when we were 3 hours away from Base.
Transformational Moments
We handled each and every one of these challenges head on with grace and appreciation of just being together. Meanwhile, he fixed multiple issues with the Bus – a window that hasn’t opened since the early 80s is now fully functional, the back hatch that was rattling, now solidly latches, the pop-up that wouldn’t stay up, now lifts and locks in place higher than it ever did before, and the sliding door that used to take full force to shut, slides closed with gliding ease.
As leaders (and as human beings), we’re constantly faced with situations that are challenging in one way or another, and we must decide how to address those challenges and move forward.
So, how do you make the best decision for your team when you’re faced with a difficult situation?
Values As Your Compass
Get very clear on what you value as a leader. Your values are like a compass that you can use to repeatedly determine whether or not you’re going in a direction that serves your team’s overarching mission and goals. They are something that you can (and indeed, should) always come back to when making decisions, especially ones tied to particularly challenging situations.
A key question to ask is, “How do I handle this situation in a way that reflects what I value most as a leader?”
When you are clear on your values, leadership might look like: Facing challenges with a sense of resiliency and hope. Referring to your values when doubts arise. Seeing your fears pop up and choosing to overcome them. Leading teams that feel supported and empowered to move forward through uncertainty.
Perhaps one of the biggest perks of having clear values as a leader is that they give you the ability to take any situation and use it as a transformational moment. A transformational moment is a moment that deeply reinforces your team’s lived values. The situations behind these moments are not inherently good or bad — they can be extremely difficult to positively joyous — it’s how you respond to those situations when they arise that make them transformational moments.
The vital thing to remember about these moments is that they can happen at any time, and when you least expect them. They can be something as simple as celebrating a colleague’s birthday to something more challenging, such as the way you respond to an employee’s mistake while on the job.
So, embrace those situations that come in from left field and turn them into moments of transformation and a signature of your leadership.
Resources
To learn more about values and how to identify them for yourself and your organization, check out these resources:
In Tea Talk with Gretchen: Value of Values, our CEO, Gretchen Reid talks with Jessica Bush, Founder of Real Change RN Consulting, who shares about a surgical center she worked with and how they identified and established their organizational values in order to create a compass that guided all areas of their team’s operations, eventually leading them to greater success in ways that surpassed their expectations.
In our latest Tea Talk with Gretchen: How to Identify Organizational Values, our CEO, Gretchen Reid sits down again with Jessica Bush, Founder of Real Change RN Consulting, to discuss different ways that teams can approach identifying their organization’s values.
Our Values-in-Action Worksheet provides a place for you to assess and align your own personal values alongside your team and organizational values.
Be sure to look for our May newsletter where we dive deeper into how to overcome the fear that sometimes inhibits us from embracing these difficult situations and turning them into truly transformational moments.
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AUTHOR – Gretchen Reid is the Founder and Chief Change and Leadership Architect for Integrated Growth. She has spent over 25 years coaching leaders and creating award-winning Leadership and Talent Development Programs, directly contributing to multiple awards for her clients, including Fast Company’s 50 Most Innovative Companies, Forbes America’s Best Employers List, Forbes Best Employer for Diversity, and ASTD BEST. She is an Adjunct Professor of Change Management in the Strategic HR Masters Program, Denver University, University College. (MS, Career and Human Resource Development, Rochester Institute of Technology, BA, Psychology & Business Management, University of Rochester)