The Paradox of Leadership
Doing More by Doing Less
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines “patience” in a few different ways, my favorite of them being steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. In the case of one of our recent clients – a first-time CEO and leader of a highly motivated, productive team – the opposition, difficulty, and adversity he was experiencing was coming from his own mind, his muscle memory from previous positions he’s held over the years.
His challenge, he thought, was that he just wasn’t good at having patience – that he didn’t have the ability to remain steadfast in his leadership role while he perceived possible inefficiencies, delays, or other difficulties in the work of others. He saw himself as a doer, someone who produced results on the ground, not someone who stood by while others did so. And because he was so accustomed to being productive, it was really difficult for his mind not to jump right in and over-analyze, critique, and encroach on the work of others. He had earned his position by doing the work in many of those roles himself, he reasoned, so why wouldn’t he continue to do what he’s always done? It had led him here, leading a multi-million dollar company, afterall.
And herein lies an interesting paradox about being a leader: We often get promoted into higher and higher leadership levels by doing the work, and doing it well, but once we are there, our actual roles change quite a bit; they shift from doing the work to providing the resources needed for others to do the work, which is a skill in and of itself. Though related to the skills that may have gotten you to a leadership position in the first place, it is a different one – think about the difference between being able to understand a foreign language versus being able to speak it fluently.
In a lot of ways, it makes complete sense that one would need to go through the process of being a talented doer before being in a leadership role; who better to understand the foundation needed to do the work well than someone who’s done the work exceptionally well?
In our client’s case, this was the rub; he knew how to do the work well, but hadn’t quite figured out for himself how to gauge the needs of others so that they could do the same. And part of the issue for him was being patient long enough to do so – again, an aptitude he claimed not to have. So, we made a plan to cultivate it.
One way that he did this was by becoming reacquainted with his emotions and feelings at work in real time, and then learning to examine the causes of them; instead of reacting to what he was feeling, he shifted to observing the feelings (emotional and physical) that ran through him. By doing so, he discovered a drastic change in the way his emotions presented themselves before he’d become CEO: the feeling of anxiety before would have been a sign for him to act, to produce, to do, but in his new role, he discovered it was a sign that he was simply uncomfortable, and needed to train his mind to be okay with seeing situations in different ways.
This process of becoming aware of your emotions and the habitual responses that become ingrained in you is something to pay close attention to as you move higher up in your leadership position, especially when your actions are not achieving your desired outcome. You see, thoughts result in feelings. Feelings result in behaviors. And behaviors result in outcomes. While it’s that simple to say, it’s a bit more difficult to shift.
The body, I’ve learned, has so much wisdom to share when we’re willing to pay attention to it. A great tool to have on standby when you need to find clarity and a new tack in your leadership is the simple act of asking yourself questions and truly listening to your body for the answers. That right there – listening to your body – is something different, right? Especially when your brain is the part that thinks. But your body holds its own wisdom.
Try it out right now. Here are four questions to sink into on a physical and emotional level (remember, don’t let you brain do the answering):
What do I notice in my body?
What do I feel physically? (describe it in as much detail as possible)
What emotions do I feel from that place?
What’s the message it wants to share? (remember - let the physical sensation answer)
While this can seem like a very strange thing to do, remember that any new exercise takes practice, and it will get easier and feel more natural over time.
This practice of grounding yourself, of becoming still so that others can move, is the very definition of the paradox in leadership – relying on what you know from the place of movement and applying it from a place of stillness. Because in the space of real leadership, chaos turns to clarity, the noise turns quiet, the doing becomes supporting, and the reacting becomes responding.
Case in point, back to my client. He exemplified it best after a few months of practicing this mind/body technique. After providing clear direction, resources, and empowerment to his team, he found himself pleasantly surprised by how little else there was for him to DO. “This week has been very quiet,” he said. “I’ve only had one meeting all week, and I’ve really enjoyed it. I have gotten outside a bunch, allowing my mind to go to more strategic places.” What? A CEO who is not booked solid with meetings? Indeed! Expanding further, he shared, “You obviously learn that leadership is more about enabling and less about doing. With every job transition (elevation), it’s like another level. Like being a jedi vs. a jedi master.”
In the world of business, where hustle is traditionally praised and seen as an indicator of ability, a lot of emphasis can be placed on productivity – on achieving the most in the least amount of time. A challenge that leaders have to face is having the skill to almost remove themselves from that belief long enough to identify what their teams actually need (again – mentally, emotionally, physically) to be productive, giving them those things, and then – paradoxically – stepping back and allowing them to do their thing.
As a quote from Lao Tzu reads: “A leader is best when people barely know he exists. When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves.” And isn’t that what we want? Team members who feel self-actualized through a sense of ownership and pride? Team members who go that extra mile for results that really matter?
Next month, we’ll dive deeper into how this paradox and other changes apply to shifts in leadership at every level, and the importance of being willing to release your attachment to what you know in order to embrace growth and new insights.
Integrated Growth specializes in organizational effectiveness and leadership consulting. We build award winning leadership development programs, facilitate strategic planning and team development initiatives, and provide coaching for leaders and their teams.
Our team of highly skilled consultants and executive coaches solve real problems real time, helping you to achieve your greatest mission.
Thank you for being a part of the Integrated Growth community! We strive to provide our followers with interesting and thought provoking content around leadership and organizational change in an effort to empower YOU as a leader.
You've been identified as a leader in the health, wellness or outdoor space that might be interested in our thoughts and ideas. We invite you to take advantage of a free 30 minute consultation around leadership development and organizational change. Schedule your free discovery call.
AUTHOR – Gretchen Reid is the Founder and Chief Change and Leadership Architect for Integrated Growth. She has spent over 25 years coaching leaders and creating award-winning Leadership and Talent Development Programs, directly contributing to multiple awards for her clients, including Fast Company’s 50 Most Innovative Companies, Forbes America’s Best Employers List, Forbes Best Employer for Diversity, and ASTD BEST. She is an Adjunct Professor of Change Management in the Strategic HR Masters Program, Denver University, University College. (MS, Career and Human Resource Development, Rochester Institute of Technology, BA, Psychology & Business Management, University of Rochester)