How Might We?
How a Simple Question Can Change Everything
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with a child? Not a preteen or a teenager, whose minds have had time to adjust to social cues and expectations, but a child whose inner world is still permeated by that inherent, magical quality that often comes with our earliest years – when the world still feels new, limitless, and unexplored. If you have had such a conversation, you might have experienced that no matter what you say, what a child often responds with is “Why?”. Why does this happen, and why not that? Why is this right, and why is that wrong? Why is this the way things are done? Why, why, why?
Though the questions can sometimes be difficult to answer, and sometimes downright frustrating, I personally love this about young kids. Because at this time in their lives, at this age full of so much possibility, they naturally function by learning new information, testing it, and adjusting accordingly – over and over and over again. And we adults did, too, once upon a time. But somewhere along the way, as we grew up and began to bear the weight (and joy, too) of responsibilities, life complexities, and leadership challenges, the ability to ask “Why?” became somewhat of a far off memory; something we felt we needed to squelch for fear of appearing incompetent, or we simply didn’t have the time or brain space to explore fully, so why bother asking? Sometimes it’s just easier to comply and take action without understanding the underlying reasoning.
Because in the adult world, answers mean stability and knowingness, while questions can leave us feeling ungrounded and in limbo while we await the answers. Once our minds have a sense of stability, they like to hold on to it; this is what is often referred to as a fixed mindset. And understandably so, because what we gain from staying in the realm of the' known' is peace of mind, a clear direction, a good night’s sleep. In one word, we gain security!
But with that sense of security comes a great loss. A loss for ourselves, for our teams, and for the whole of our organizations or communities. When in the process of clinging to what we know, it’s easy to forgo the possibilities that emerge from discovery, exploration, and experimentation – and the joy that comes during the process of figuring things out.
By choosing the oftentimes false idea of security over what’s possible, we automatically cut ourselves off from the potential for something beyond what we already know. In the context of our workplaces, this approach to leadership can cause us to get into cycles of operating within the confines of a certain set of parameters (rules or ways of thinking), and this can keep us stagnant – meaning the same organizational problems and patterns repeat themselves, employees feel unmotivated and unengaged, and everything from team culture to the bottom line suffers.
So how do we break out of our protective ways?
By returning to what was likely one of our very first questions: “Why?”
A more nuanced version of “Why?”, or perhaps the question that follows the answer to “Why”, that I’ve learned to appreciate over the years while working with teams is: “How Might We?” In the same way the word “Why” gave us a way to understand and navigate the world around us as children, I’ve found that this phrase, “How Might We?” allows teams to explore the varied array of possibilities at their disposal – and perhaps does something even more profound by allowing them to consider creative approaches and solutions to their biggest challenges.
Though the phrase may sound simple at first, remember that words – however small – have power, and there is more to this small group of words than one may think. Let’s take a closer look.
How: The beauty of this word is that it automatically assumes that there are multiple possible solutions, leaving space for discussion, collaboration, and innovation.
Might: This word assumes, correctly, that something may work, or it may not. By using this word, you create space for either outcome, letting your team know that they have the freedom to try new things and, if needed, to fail forward.
We: Beyond creating a sense of community and shared responsibility, this word shows that you want to build off of others’ ideas and create a solution together.
Not too bad for three small words, right? The truly great thing about this phrase is that it can be paired with countless questions/problems/opportunities (fill in the blank) – countless ways to dig and explore and consider new possibilities for the challenges that plague us.
Furthermore, this phrase is a great example of why the most important and difficult job is not to find the right answers, but to find the right question. When you identify the right question, you’ll be pointed in the right direction while maintaining flexibility to try a range of solutions, rather than being pigeon-holed into a solution that is wrong for your needs or too confined.
Here’s a great example to help you tease out how asking the right question at the correct scope can point you in the most helpful direction in solving the problem at hand:
Question with a too-narrow scope: How might we create a cone to eat ice cream without dripping? In answering this question, no matter what comes to mind, it’s still an ice cream cone – maybe a different shape that catches the drips, or one with hardened chocolate at the bottom of it, etc.
Question with a too-wide scope: How might we redesign dessert? Now we’re all over the place, imagining brownies, chocolate covered pretzels, fruit cups, or even chocolate covered bacon (clearly I have a thing for chocolate).
Question with a scope that is just right: How might we redesign ice cream to be more portable? This might be ice cream sandwiches, ice cream cups, or in this case, the innovative dippin’ dots.
So how might we as leaders create an environment where questions are the norm that lead us to new innovations?
What Happens When We Ask Brave Questions
Our team is currently working in the Fire & EMS space to revamp a district’s performance management system. During our initial call with them, we asked many questions: Why is this important? Why now? What do you hope to achieve from this initiative? How might performance management move the organization from where you are today to where you want to be? How might we define your desired collective leadership culture and build a performance management process that will drive behaviors toward that end?
And on and on we went.
It quickly became clear to them that our work together was not a matter of simply revising a form; it required a step back and a leap up to collectively define where they were going and how they would get there. Only once they realized that, could we rebuild a system that went beyond the traditional ‘check the box’ to something that would truly provide value to each and every team member, manager, and the whole of the organization. Not to mention, one that directly impacts our community!
The truth is that it takes courage to ask questions and take different actions than those that have been tradition for many years. It takes courage to ask for help and admit when you don’t know the answer. While fire and rescue workers are by nature problem solvers, the industry is steeped in tradition. How might the two co-exist to create a culture of creative thought and innovation? Sometimes we find that creativity is born from a place of pressure and limited resources – solve or die, in some instances!
Take for example the first time it was discovered that the technique of burning the fuel ahead of a wildfire can save a life. In August of 1949 in North Montana, Crew Chief Dodge was faced with a solve or die situation. While two hundred yards from safety, death was fifty yards behind. Out of nowhere, he had the idea to strike a match to waist high grass as he was running out of time. He tried to tell his crew to step inside the ring of fire he had set, but they cursed him and ran for the rocks above instead – leaning on the traditional methods of avoiding fire that they knew. None but two survived that day, leaving 13 crosses high above the cold Missouri waters. I invite you to listen to the song – really listen to the words and feel the desperation and sadness. And at the same time, consider the innovation through unique problem solving and new ideation that was uncovered that day.
So my question and challenge to us all is, how do we take these pressure cooker scenarios that often result in innovation by the force of survival, and carry that spirit of creative thought and experimentation into our daily lives and our organizational cultures, rather than waiting for the next emergency that thrusts us there.
Diane Schroeder, one of our team members and fire and rescue veteran, quotes, “Leaders must create a brave space for themselves and their team members to fail, get it wrong, and learn from it. If they can do this on the smaller things, they will get it right on the bigger things, because they learn how to think creatively along the way. No one’s born with all the answers, and while tradition is important, maybe what’s more important is to honor that tradition, rather than necessarily sticking with it for the sake of tradition itself.”
After doing this work for more than 30 years, I have seen first hand how managers who always have the answers create an environment of learned helplessness on their teams, no matter what industry you’re in. Instead of failing forward and creating their own solutions, team members learn to simply defer to the leader rather than thinking on their own and asking critical questions.
A gentle news flash: Managers and leaders are NOT supposed to have all the answers. The best leaders have the best questions – questions that lead their teams to find the best answers and solutions.
The moral of the story is that while tradition and best practices have their place, if we’re not diligent about continuing to question them and adjust over time, they can become so comfortable that we don’t even realize they no longer serve our goals. In fact, sometimes our behaviors become invisible to us — comfortable to our detriment.
And besides – our job as leaders is not to feel comfortable, and it’s certainly not to settle for answers because they feel easier to do so than to wonder if there’s something more. Different. Better. Our job as leaders in so many ways is to make sure we don’t grow stagnant with old narratives and assumptions, to ask why at every turn and bravely follow the path accordingly, making space for our teams to do the same. Hope, possibilities, and solutions, after all, are often not things that are simply given; they are created, with each new possibility, each new discovery, and each new path uncovered.
So next time you are faced with a challenge, pose the question to your team, “How Might We…”.
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AUTHOR – Gretchen Reid is the Founder and Chief Change and Leadership Architect for Integrated Growth. She has spent over 25 years coaching leaders and creating award-winning Leadership and Talent Development Programs, directly contributing to multiple awards for her clients, including Fast Company’s 50 Most Innovative Companies, Forbes America’s Best Employers List, Forbes Best Employer for Diversity, and ASTD BEST. She is an Adjunct Professor of Change Management in the Strategic HR Masters Program, Denver University, University College. (MS, Career and Human Resource Development, Rochester Institute of Technology, BA, Psychology & Business Management, University of Rochester)